5 “GOTCHA!” questions to ask a Medical Marijuana Dealer

As a Medical Marijuana Patient you rely on your Caregiver, Budtender, or club owner to be knowledgeable about the medicine they are selling. Luckily – most people selling Medical Marijuana are more than willing – nay, excited! to talk about their products. Here are some GOTCHA questions you can ask them to help you weed out the good dealers from the occasional bad apple.

1) Sativa or Indica?

Does it smoke like a sativa – giving you an upbeat energetic feeling, or does it smoke like an indica – locking you hard into the couch? In between the two extremes? You will need to test it out for yourself to figure out what works, but understanding the categories will be very useful for you in treating your condition.

This is a really basic question, but I have heard new upstarts get it wrong or get confused about it. Folks with insomnia generally don’t want a sativa strain that will keep them awake, and people with depression sometimes don’t want a heavy indica strain effecting their productivity.

In other cases, I have had patients whose muscle spasms would worsen with sativa-dominant strains but still needed to be productive as they dealt with their chronic pain. For these patients, a 50-50 hybrid works really well.

2) How was it cured?

It is well known that patients prefer cured rather than fresh dried cannabis. This is an extra step though – and means that the cannabis producer has to be a little more patient bringing his product to market.

A good cure occurs in air tight containers, often mason jars. Highlights of a good cure is an even burn rate, less coughing, and even slightly better potency!

3) How is it stored?

Cannabis is best stored in a cool, dry place in vacuum sealed glass containers.  For high volume places like cannabis shops, dispensaries, etc, don’t be surprised or alarmed if it’s not vacuum sealed.

In my humble opinion there is no better sound than the PSSST of a sealed jars vacuum being open when you ask a caregiver to bring out his “head stash” (highest quality MJ)

4) Which pesticides were used?

I am going to shock and alarm some people with this. I’ve been growing indoors for 4 years now and I can tell you for certain you don’t need pesticides to have an excellent, reliable indoor crop harvest after harvest. Strong plants defend themselves, and the ability of good growers to control their environment completely negates any advantage pest populations could have on a crop. Outdoor, and dirt and organic growers may occasionally need a different solution.

Still, just like our nations food producers, many cannabis growers choose to use pesticides in their crop.  All-natural NEEM oil, rosemary, thyme, etc extracts are all used to bolster plants natural defenses and scare off pests regularly. You can decide for yourself whether you are comfortable with this, or even non-natural pesticides, in your marijuana.

5) Is the Cannabis grown organically or not?

There are some wrong answers to this question: “I’m not sure”, “…..LONG PAUSE”, or a lie. The bottom line is you should feel comfortable with the cannabis you are getting and the dealer selling the marijuana should both (A) know the answer and (B) be able to defend his position.

For example, I’ve used organic nutrition to feed my plants in the past – but I found that it was too much work (10+ hours /wk extra mixing dirt, dealing with worms, hand watering plants, etc). I found that all that extra work left me with less free time to be a good caregiver, start Grassmatch, and have a life. Besides that, frankly I would find myself slacking off. When I switched to hydroponics, my products got better, my patients got happier, and I got my life back .


How to Tell if Your Weed is Good

How to Tell if your Weed is Good

Producing Marijuana is an art as well as a science.  There are many different methods for preparing herb for consumption, and most produce excellent results. Occasionally, however, subpar Marijuana gets into the hands of a medical Marijuana Patient. Fortunately, there are plenty of tell tale signs you are getting a raw deal from your caregiver. How to tell if your weed is good, in just 6 easy-bake steps.

1) Wet weed

A person that gives you wet weed is either ignorant or greedy, or both. Wet weed weighs more than dry weed – so we have the greed part covered. What about the ignorance? First of all  – just like wet wood – wet cannabis doesn’t burn as well as dry.  Not only does the burn rate go down, but cannabis needs drying in order to activate it’s psychoactive ingredients. Most importantly, wet weed is very prone to high levels of mold that can be very dangerous for immune-suppressed patients.  If you have any clue how to tell if your weed is good, you won’t buy the wet stuff.

2) Compressed Cannabis

Compressed cannabis generally comes from a vacuum sealed bag or a brick. It is a sign that you MIGHT be dealing with a drug dealer who has recently converted to being a caregiver. Compressed weed is not necessarily low quality, but buyer beware. People who really know how to tell if your weed is good also know to “pay less for compressed!”

In this article, a marijuana insider sarcastically says this in regards to brick weed

It’s hard to believe drug gangs are killing each other over this stuff.

3) Brown / Moldy Smelling Weed

Good marijuana comes in a variety of colors and flavors. Some patients prefer a nice fruity smelling cannabis – and some patients prefer their weed wreak like a skunk or like cheese. Some strains of marijuana downright smell offensive to my nose – but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.
However, you should check very large nugs for bud rot, which looks as disgusting as it sounds. If you see or smell any black or white mold then you should not only pass on the cannabis – you should pass on that caregiver entirely. There are serious health risks associated with mold, especially for immunosuppressed patients. Moldy weed is also a common scare tactic for news organizations, as seen in this CBS article. As you see – knowing how to tell if your weed is good can be important to your health!

4) Loose / Fluffy nugs

Amazing marijuana buds can be had in huge chunks or small portions. Some strains are also naturally fluffy, where others are naturally more dense.

Determining if a sample or bag you’ve just purchased is overly fluffy is tough – you’ve got to have some experience with the strain to be really sure. However if you can hold the bud up to a strong light source and light peaks through – you either have a bad grow or are getting “bottom nugs”.  “Bottom Nugs” receive very little light during the growing process. Good growers know these buds should never be sold as-is, and are instead pruned early in the growing process or used later for concentrates.

5) Crystal Shine!

All well grown cannabis appears frosty when exposed to light. This quality is sometimes called frost, crystals, trichs, or most correctly “trichomes”.  The Marijuana plant develops trichomes as a defense mechanism for various MJ loving pests and to trap pollen. A strong, fertile female cannabis plant will always have an abundance of trichomes.

Cannabis can lose it’s glisten quickly in hot grow rooms.  You’ll also loose the frosting due to:

  • Getting “beat up” by fans and heavy winds
  • General poor plant health and development
  • rough handling.

Those who know how to tell if your weed is good will say “if it doesn’t shine it’s hardly worth your time!”.

6) Seeds

Heavily seeded marijuana can still be excellent – but even the best seeded marijuana will sell at a 40% discount or more. It is a basic fact of nature that a female marijuana plant that is busy producing seeds will be less busy producing strong marijuana. Those that know how to tell if your weed is good all agree-Seedless marijuana (sinsemella) has been the holy grail for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

It’s typical for marijuana plants -especially those picked for a late harvest – to have a seed or two. Finding one or two seeds in an ounce of great marijuana should be seen as a gift. Save the seed, every excellent strain started from a seed!

However, an abundance of seeds – particularly infant seeds – definitely indicates subprime cannabis. If you got it unknowingly from a good caregiver, dispensary, or club – you are entitled to a big discount, return, or money back on your purchase.


So there you have it folks, now you know how to tell if your weed is good. If the marijuana looks good, and passes all the tests – it’s probably of respectable quality. That does not, however, mean you’ll enjoy it. In the world of marijuana, one mans trash is truly another mans treasure. And there are great deals to be found especially with less popular strains. Happy hunting!